Walk Away
by shocklance
Summary: Tomoyo has always loved Sakura, but never revealed the depths of her feelings. Even now as an adult she keeps that love to herself. But when she discovers Syaoran's plan to propose to Sakura her world falls apart. What choice will she make?


**Greetings, Shocklance here with my first CCS fic. I wrote this back in March for a fanfic contest at Sakuracon in Seattle, a very awesome anime con. I actually tied for first place with this fic, though that's not saying much since ther was only like three or four entries. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: In no way do I own any part of Card Captor Sakura**

Walk Away

Tomoyo Daidoji brushed a tear from her face before snapping the latches of her suitcase shut. She turned towards her desk and faced the rows of videos situated on the wall behind it. She had already packed a couple of her favorites to take with her. She wished she was taking all of them, but there wasn't enough time to pack everything. She would just have to wait a couple of days for them to arrive with the rest of her things, so it wasn't that big of a deal. One of the maids entered the bedroom and retrieved the suitcase from the bed. Tomoyo took one of two envelopes from her desk and held it out to the maid.

"Would you please make sure my mother gets this when she returns home?" She said.

"Of course miss." The maid said. She pocketed the letter before leaving with the suitcase. Once she was gone Tomoyo took the second envelope and placed it on her pillows where it would be easily spotted by Sakura. Tomoyo looked herself over in the full length mirror that stood beside her bed. She couldn't help but notice how pale her skin had become or how her normally well groomed hair was disheveled. Dark circles had begun to form under eyes as well. She wasn't surprised by her appearance, in fact she was amazed that she didn't look worse. The past couple of days had been the worst of her life.

She sighed heavily, suddenly feeling like she was an old lady instead of the twenty-two year old woman she actually was. She started crying again when she began to think about she was doing. She silently shook her head to banish the tears. She picked up her purse before exiting her room for the last time. The sound of the door closing behind her seemed to echo throughout the house.

"I left a note for Sakura on my bed. Please make sure she finds it when she comes by in the morning." She said to another maid that was standing by the entrance to her now former room.

"Yes miss." The maid said with a bow. Tomoyo walked quickly through the halls of the mansion, eager to get away before her resolve wavered. Once she was out the front door she practically leapt into the back seat of the family limousine.

"Where to miss?" The driver asked once the door was closed behind her.

"The airport please." The driver simply nodded and pulled away from the house. Tomoyo watched the building that had been her home for most of her life shrink in the distance. It was then that the gravity of her decision hit home. She started sobbing uncontrollably, knowing that she was abandoning her friends, her mother, and most importantly her beloved Sakura. But what other choice did she have? If she stayed it would be too painful for her, and eventually her feelings would come out, ruining everything. If Sakura was to be happy she had no other choice but to walk away. It was funny to think that just the day before she was perfectly happy, blissfully unaware of the events that would bring her carefully constructed world crashing down around her. The memories came flooding back even though she didn't want them to.

Tomoyo walked down the street, enjoying the sunny July afternoon. It had been such a beautiful day out that she couldn't resist the urge to go for a stroll through town. Birds chirped form the treetops and people chatted happily with one another. The only thing that would of made the day perfect was if Sakura was there to share it with her. Unfortunately her best friend had to work and couldn't come with her. But despite the lack of Sakura's presence Tomoyo was having a pleasant time. She even ran into Rika and Naoko and talked to them for a little while. After about an hour of walking around and doing some window shopping she was thinking about going back home. That's when she spied Syaoran walking out of a jewelry store.

"Syaoran!" Tomoyo called out as she started walking towards him.

"Oh, Tomoyo." Syaoran said in a casual tone. "It's good to see you."

"Same here." It was then that Tomoyo spied the bag bearing the name of the jewelry store. "What do you have there?" She asked.

"Oh, this? It's, uh, nothing really." Syaoran started going red in the face.

"It's not nothing, I know that look on your face. I bet it's a present for Sakura! Let me see!" Tomoyo started giggling merrily as she tried to snatch the small bag from Syaoran's hands. After a few minutes of playful struggling the bag accidentally got torn and a small square box clattered to the ground. Tomoyo froze in place, shocked at what she saw. She slowly bent down and picked up the box. She knew what was in it before she even flipped open the lid. A gold ring with a diamond sat in the center of the velvet lined interior. Syaoran grabbed the box for Tomoyo's hands and snapped it closed.

"You can't tell Sakura." He said quickly.

"You, you're going to ask her to marry you?" Tomoyo stammered out.

"Tomorrow night. I'm taking her out for dinner and I'm going to surprise her with the ring." Syaoran slipped the box into his pocket. "Do you think she'll like it?" He asked.

"Ah, yeah, I'm sure she'll love it. Look, Syaoran, I just remembered I need to be somewhere. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Tomoyo? Are you okay?" Syaoran had a confused look on his face, unsure what to make of Tomoyo's sudden change in behavior.

"I'm fine, see you later and good luck tomorrow night!" Tomoyo ran off with a large grin on her face. A grin that she used to cover the sudden despair she felt within herself. She ran through the crowed streets, the grin disappearing from her face. She took no notice of the angry cries of the people she stumbled into. Without realizing where she was going she ended up at King Penguin Park. She crawled into the opening in the center of the penguin slide. It had been a long time since she had last been there and found it to be much more cramped then it used to be. She pulled her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her knees. Tears started flowing down her cheeks.

Tomoyo was very confused by what she was feeling. Hadn't she always believed that as long as Sakura was happy she would be happy? Surely Syaoran proposing would make her friend extremely happy. So why did she feel like someone had just come up and ripped her heart out of her chest? She already knew the answer of course. She knew that soon Sakura would be forever beyond her reach. It was her own fault really, she had always done everything possible to get the two of them together. But she had done it to help Sakura find love. She remembered how Sakura's face light up with joy when they found out Syaoran was moving to Tomoeda and her happiness made Tomoyo happy. But now she was torn. She supposed she had always held out some small shred of hope that somehow she and Sakura would be together in the end. And now that hope was gone. Though admittedly it was foolish to believe that Sakura and her could be anything more then friends.

A storm came out of nowhere, complementing Tomoyo's mental state. She crawled out of the slide and walked home in the pounding rain. She arrived home completely drenched. The maids made a huge fuss over her, taking up to her room and making her change out of her wet clothes so she wouldn't get sick. When they left she crawled onto her bed and curled up into a ball. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't tell Sakura how she felt, not now. She'd had plenty of time before now to truly confess, but never had. She had no right to spoil things for Sakura and Syaoran, it wouldn't be fair to them.

She didn't leave her room that night and refused to speak to her mother or eat her dinner when it was brought to her. She finally fell into a restless sleep. She dreamed of Sakura's future, and while it wasn't frightening it was still a nightmare to her. She was there at Sakura's wedding, holding her camcorder recording Sakura and Syaoran exchanging their vows. She was there for the birth of their children. But through it all she sensed something. There was a growing distance between the two of them. Sakura was slowing drifting away from her. Her best friend was occupied with her new life with Syaoran, she no longer needed Tomoyo. Soon Sakura forgot all about her and she was alone.

Tomoyo shot upright with a gasp. A cold sweat breaking out across her skin. She calmed her breathing and kept telling herself it was just a dream. Yet somehow she couldn't shake the feeling that her dream was a vision of the future. She found it hard to believe that Sakura would completely abandon her, but what if she did? What would she do? How would she cope with the loss of the one person that meant the most to her?

The next day Tomoyo sat in her room, trying to come to terms with what was going to happen later that night. Her dream kept coming back to her, the sense of loss and loneliness was overwhelming, and there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening. She spent much of the morning and part of the afternoon watching her videos of Sakura. A sad smile spread across Tomoyo's face as she watched her best friend doing everything from skating down the sidewalk to capturing the Clow Cards. It all brought a smile to her face. Sakura was so kind, so wonderful, so… perfect. And soon she would be engaged to Syaoran. Tomoyo lowered her head as a new wave of sadness flooded through her. She got up and walked to the window. She stared out it without really seeing anything. She jumped when her cell phone started to ring. She bit her lip when she saw it was Sakura calling. After a moments hesitation she answered.

"Hi Sakura." She said as pleasantly as possible.

"Hi Tomoyo, how are you doing?" Sakura's melodic voice made Tomoyo's heart melt.

"I'm fine." She hated lying to Sakura, but she couldn't tell her the truth either.

"You sure? You don't sound okay?" The concern in Sakura's voice was more then evident.

"I'm sure, I'm just a little tired. I had trouble sleeping last night."

"I see. Well, I was just calling to see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Great! I'd come over tonight, but Syaoran invited me to dinner this evening. He seemed kind of nervous when I talked to him."

"Oh, really?" Tomoyo did her best to keep her voice neutral.

"Yeah, I'm not sure why though, it's not like we haven't gone out before. Well, I'll come by at say eight o'clock?"

"That sounds fine. I'll see you then."

"Great! See you then Tomoyo! Bye!"

"Bye." Tomoyo said quietly before hanging up. She was already dreading the next day. She could picture the conversation they would have. Sakura would excitedly tell her about Syaoran proposing. They would start making plans for the wedding. She would offer to design the dress and record the ceremony. Sakura would of course accept, knowing her best friend would do a outstanding job.

Her best friend, that's all she would ever be to Sakura, nothing more. For the longest time she had been content with that. But now, she didn't know if she could be happy with that anymore. But she wouldn't, couldn't tell Sakura she loved her. She had in the past, yes, but that was when they were much younger. Sakura hadn't understood what she meant and then Syaoran had come into the picture.

Tomoyo knew she couldn't go through any of what was to come. It would either destroy her on the inside or she would break down and tell her the truth, which would ruin Sakura's future. That was when it came to her. She had to leave, and never come back. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing was more important to Tomoyo then Sakura's happiness. She had to go away immediately, before she changed her mind. She already knew where she was going to go. There was an apartment her mother owned in Kyoto, far from Tomoeda. Far from the pain she was feeling. Far from Sakura.

Tomoyo began instantly. She called and reserved a seat on the next flight to Kyoto. She packed her a suitcase and made arrangements for the rest of her things to be shipped to the apartment. Most importantly she wrote a pair of letters. In the one to her mother she explained where she was going and why. She knew her mom would understand, she had gone through the same thing with Sakura's mom, Nadeshiko. The other was to Sakura. In that one she apologized for leaving, but didn't really say why. She just hoped Sakura wouldn't hate her to much for abandoning her. Though truthfully, maybe it was for the best that Sakura did hate her.

As the limo pulled up to the front of the airport Tomoyo was jolted out of her painful memories. She picked up her ticket and went through security without incident. As she walked across the ramp towards the plane she stopped and looked out at city in the distance. Somewhere out there right now Syaoran was presenting the ring to Sakura and asking her to be his wife.

"Goodbye Sakura, be happy. That's all I can ask." A single tear rolled down her cheek as she entered the plane.

Sakura Kinomoto hummed to herself as she skated down the road towards the home of her best friend. More then a few guy's heads turned as she sailed past on her roller blades. Sakura had grown from a cute girl into a gorgeous young woman. Her father had told her several times that except for her short hair she looked just like her mother. The complement always made her blush. However she wasn't thinking about such things right then. Her mind was preoccupied with what had happened at dinner last night. Just after they had finished dessert Syaoran had suddenly presented her with a engagement ring and asked her to marry him. At first she was too stunned to speak. When she finally got over her shock the answer she gave not only surprised Syaoran, but herself as well. She had said no. She couldn't say why she had turned him down, but in her heart she knew she didn't want to marry him. She felt bad for turning him down, he was obviously hurt, but had accepted her decision. She had apologized and said she would explain why later.

That's why she was glad she had already made plans to see Tomoyo. She could always count on her to help sort through her feelings. If there was anyone who could help her make sense of things it was her best friend. At last she arrived at the Daidoji mansion. A slight frown appeared on her face as she rolled through the main gate. There was a odd feeling in the air, it was as if something was missing. She took off her skates and headed for the front door, filled with a sudden sense of dread. She rang the doorbell frantically. Something was very wrong, there was no doubt about it now, she could feel it. The door swung open, one of the maids standing behind it.

"Oh, Miss Sakura." The maid said in a sad tone. Sakura noticed the downtrodden look on the woman's face.

"I'm here to see Tomoyo." The words tumbled out of Sakura's mouth. She was beginning to panic. Whatever was wrong, it had to do with Tomoyo, she knew it instinctively.

"I'm sorry, but she isn't here."

"What do you mean!?"

"She left last night."

"What!? Where did she go!?"

"She didn't say. But she did leave a note for you on her bed." Without waiting for an invitation Sakura dashed past the maid and ran strait upstairs to Tomoyo's room. A pair of maids were inside packing up the contents of the room into cardboard boxes. They stopped when they noticed Sakura standing there. One of them pointed towards the envelope sitting on the bed. Sakura pushed past them and grabbed the envelope. She ripped it open and took out the letter inside, she instantly recognized the flowing script of Tomoyo's writing. Both her confusion and eyes grew larger as she read it.

_To my Dearest Sakura,_

_Obviously by now you know I've left. I hope you can forgive me for going without saying goodbye in person, but please believe me when I say I have my reasons. There is so much I want to say to you, but neither time or circumstances will allow me to do so. There are no words to describe what your friendship has meant to me. I had always hoped that I would be part of your life forever, but that can never be. I'm sure you're asking yourself why, and I wish I could explain, but I can't. Understand that I didn't come to this decision lightly. I will miss you every waking second, but I can no longer be close to you. I ask only two things of you. First, please don't try and find me. I know you'll want to, but resist the urge. Secondly, be happy with Syaoran, have a good life with him. I know he will do right by you. If you can't forgive me for abandoning you, I will understand._

_Goodbye forever,_

_Tomoyo Diadoji_

Sakura let the letter fall from her grasp as she dropped onto the bedspread. The letter had answered nothing and just raised more questions. Tomoyo had somehow known about Sayoran's plan to propose to her, and if she was guessing right, it had upset her friend for some reason. It was the only thing that made sense, but at the same time it wasn't. Hadn't Tomoyo always done her best to get her and Sayoran together? Things were happening way to fast for her to make any sense of it. She had known something was wrong with Tomoyo yesterday when they talked on the phone. If she had only gone to see her then she might have been able to prevent this!

"I see you've read her letter." Sakura jumped in fright. She quickly stood up and stepped toward the speaker, Sonomi Diadoji, Tomoyo's mother.

"Yes, but I still don't know what's going on! Do you know!?" Sakura cried out in a pleading tone.

"I don't think it's really my place to say." Sakura's face fell at Sonomi's statement. Tomoyo's mother turned away and started talking to herself. "This reminds me far to much of what I went through with Nadeshiko. I was afraid of this happening to Tomoyo, but I didn't know how to prevent it."

"You and my mother!? What does that have to do with anything!?" Sakura shouted out angrily.

"She meant the world to me, but then she married Fujitaka. You mean the world to Tomoyo, but you're going to marry Syaoran." Sakura just shook her head, she didn't understand what Sonomi was getting at.

"I'm not marrying Syaoran, I turned him down, but what does he have to do with this!?" Sonomi's head jerked up at Sakura's comment.

"You turned him down!?" Sakura nodded. Sonomi bit her lip in thought. "Listen Sakura, Tomoyo begged me not to tell you where she went, and I have a duty to respect her wishes on the matter. But on the other hand I don't want her to make the same mistake I did." Sonomi saw the desperation in Sakura's eyes and knew what she had to do. She didn't know if her daughter would get what she wanted, but she owed it to the both of them to give them the chance. "Kyoto, she's at our apartment in Kyoto."

"Thank you!" Sakura started to leave, but Sonomi stopped her.

"Hold on a sec, I'll arrange for you to get there. However, I want to give you some advice first. You're going to have to push Tomoyo to tell you the truth, but you need to be prepared for that truth. It won't be easy for you to hear, just remember that no matter what she tells you she is still the same person you grew up with. If you can do that you'll be fine." Sakura was still confused about what was going on, but she said she would remember Sonomi's advice. A few hours later Sakura was sitting in a first class seat on a flight to Kyoto.

Tomoyo looked out over the city from the balcony of her new home. It had hardly been twenty-four hours since she had left home and already she was feeling completely empty inside. She had been expecting this of course, but she hadn't counted on it hurting so bad. It was necessary though, she had to endure it for Sakura's sake. In time she would get used to it. A gust of wind sent shivers through her body and she decided to go inside. She thought about calling her mother, but decided to wait until the morning instead. She turned off the light and prepared to go to bed when a noise from the balcony stopped her. It sounded like someone was out there, but that was impossible, the apartment was ten stories up. She went to investigate, thinking that it was a bird or something. She gasped in fright when she saw the outline of what looked like a angel standing outside. The figure opened the sliding glass door and stepped inside. Whoever it was paused after a few steps and looked around.

"Tomoyo? Are you here?" Sakura called out cautiously.

"Sakura!?" Tomoyo cried in surprise. She snapped the lights on and Sakura blinked at the sudden increase in illumination. A smile of relief crossed her face and she dismissed the Fly Card, removing the wings from her back. She had flown up to the balcony because she had been afraid Tomoyo wouldn't let her in.

"Tomoyo!" She cried out. She ran forward and embraced Tomoyo in a fierce hug. She was silently shocked and more then a little frightened by Tomoyo's appearance. She looked so ragged, as if she had been stuck on a deserted island.

"Sakura, what are you doing here!?" Tomoyo blurted out. Though she was still in shock over the sudden appearance of her friend she managed to hug Sakura back. A sense of relief and wellbeing flooded through her as she held the person she loved the most.

"What am I doing here!? I was worried sick about you!" Sakura backed up a step and looked Tomoyo in the eye. "What is going on? Why did you just take off like that without saying anything?" Tomoyo turned away, suddenly unable to face Sakura.

"Please don't ask me that. I know you came a long way to see me, but you should of stayed in Tomoeda with Syaoran."

"Tomoyo, I don't get it! What does he have to do with this!? Why won't you tell me what's wrong!?" She moved forward and put her hands on Tomoyo's shoulders. "You've always been there for me when I needed it, so please, let me be there for you now." Tomoyo started crying, Sakura wanted so bad to help her. Would it be so bad to tell her the truth? But no, it wouldn't be right.

"You wouldn't understand Sakura, please just go home." Tomoyo turned away so Sakura wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. Sakura didn't know how to get through and it was killing her to see someone she loved so much in so much pain. That's when a memory of when the two of them were much younger popped into her mind. It was the day she had captured the Flower Card. That was the first time Tomoyo had said she loved her. Sakura assumed that she had meant it in a sisterly way and had of course replied with a similar sentiment. But there had been something else as well, something she had forgotten about until now. Tomoyo had mumbled something else and when she asked what she had said Tomoyo answered by saying that she would explain it when they were older. It all clicked into place then, Tomoyo had been saying she loved her like Syaoran loved her! Thinking back so much of Tomoyo's behavior she had found odd suddenly made perfect sense! The videos she made, the outfits, everything was because she was in love with her! How could she of been so blind!? Her sudden depression made sense as well. She had found out about Sayoran's plan to propose and it pushed her over the edge. Now she knew what needed to be done.

"Tomoyo, I think I'm old enough to understand now." The dark haired girl froze in place and slowly turned back around. "You promised you would tell me all those years ago."

"Sakura…" Tomoyo was stopped from speaking by Sakura's finger on her lips.

"You said something that day, and I thought I understood what you meant. But I was wrong." Tomoyo was in a state of total disbelief. She was sure Sakura had forgotten about that incident. "You promised you would tell me, and I'm asking you to keep that promise." Tomoyo knew she was trapped.

"I'm in love with you Sakura." Tomoyo fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry! I told myself I would never tell you! Now you know why I chose to walk away! I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of you and Syaoran being happy together! That's why I had to come here!" Sakura knelt down and pulled Tomoyo close.

"I turned him down." She whispered into her ear.

"What!? Why?" Tomoyo was in total shock, that was the last thing she had expected to hear.

"I don't love him that way, he's an important part of my life, but I don't want to marry him. It's hard to explain because I don't fully understand why myself."

"Did you ever think about marrying him?" Sakura closed her eyes and searched her memories.

"No, never, not even when I first realized I loved him. I'm beginning to think that I love him like a brother."

"I see…" Tomoyo said. "All I can say is I'm sorry, for everything. I've made such a mess."

"It's alright, I'm not mad. I just wish you had said something before." A slight smile broke out across Tomoyo's face. Sakura was feeling kind of guilty. She called herself Tomoyo's best friend, yet she had never noticed how she felt. But maybe there was a way to make it up to her. Plus she had to admit she was more then a little curious. "Tomoyo, I think I owe you something."

"Wha…" That was all Tomoyo was able to get out before Sakura leaned forward and gently kissed her. Tomoyo had been dreaming of this moment her entire life, but had always believed that it would never happen. She burned every moment, every sensation into her memory. She wanted to remember this event for as long as she lived. Sakura had never thought about kissing another girl before, let alone Tomoyo, but now that she was she had to admit it felt good. She had never felt this way with Syaoran. Kissing Tomoyo somehow felt, right. After it was over they were both smiling and blushing furiously.

"Let's go home." Sakura said with a grin.

_Six months later_

Sakura and Tomoyo smiled at each other lovingly from across the table that separated them. They had been dating each other ever since they had returned from Kyoto and they were out celebrating their six month anniversary. It had been a strange at first, going from being best friends to an actual couple, but in due time they got over the awkwardness. Sakura explained what happened to Syaoran. While he was saddened by the outcome he did say that if he was going to lose to anyone he was glad it was Tomoyo. He didn't mention it, but he had known all along how Tomoyo felt. He wasn't bitter, deciding that he had lost fair and square.

"I feel kind of bad. If I had just spoken up years ago Syaoran wouldn't of been hurt." Tomoyo said as she looked into Sakura's emerald green eyes. "I hate thinking of all those years we lost too."

"Don't feel too guilty. He understands, believe me. He'll be okay. And we have the rest of our lives to make up for lost time." Sakura bit her lip in a sudden fit of nervousness.

"You okay?" Sakura nodded her head. She then pulled out a small square box, causing Tomoyo to gasp. Sakura got up from her seat and got on both knees in front of Tomoyo. She opened the box and took out a shining diamond ring.

"Tomoyo, I love you with all my heart. I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend my life with. Will you be my wife?" Tomoyo's hand shook as she stuck it out. Sakura slipped the ring onto her finger with a smile.

"Of course I'll marry you! It's all I've ever wanted!" Tomoyo pulled Sakura into her arms and they kissed, a kiss that promised of a wonderful future to come.


End file.
